During this episode, we learn about some of our guest's favorite things, the source of his biggest insecurity and how his faith has shaped his ability to love unconditionally.
My guest shares specific things that have helped him develop a healthy self image and how that allowed him to navigate a not so glamorous phase after a difficult divorce. We tell a bit of our story and the role he's played in my "Love Me Anyway" journey. This was really a treat for me because he's typically such a private person so I'm excited to let you in on our conversation.
You'll also hear why our song of the day (Through the Years by Kenny Rogers) is so significant to me and why it's quite appropriate for today's episode.
If you'd like to skip the song of the day and jump right to the interview, it starts at 2:36.
I'd love to hear from you. Please share your thoughts with me at robyn@lovemeanyway.site
00:00 Intro music fades in and plays until 00:39
:06 Host voice in intro: Love me anyway, in spite of my past, my circumstances, my mistakes. Hear me, see me, for all that I am and love me anyway.
:24 Host: Hello and welcome to Love Me Anyway. I am your host, Robyn Rose. I’m so excited about our guest today and I want to jump right into the interview but as always, I want to start things off with our song of the day. This song was released as a love song from one person, one human to another human. Over the years, that’s exactly how it’s been played and how it’s been marketed and how everyone has accepted it and it is such a beautiful song. But when I hear this song, it feels like a song that I’m singing to my higher power, which I call God. It is Through the Years by Kenny Rogers. Oh my gosh, this song is so beautiful but the reason why it is the song of the day is because it really speaks to the love that I have felt from God, even when I was at my worst. This is the part of the song that always brings tears to my eyes:
01:21 He says “through the years, when everything went wrong, together we were strong. I know that I belong right here with you”. When I felt like I had done so much wrong and when I didn’t feel good about myself, even in those times when everything was going wrong, I know He loved me. Before that, he says “through the years, through all the good and bad, I know how much we had. I’ve always been so glad to be with you”.
1:50 “Through the years, it’s better every day. You kissed my tears away”. At one point he says “Through the years, you’ve never let me down. You turned my life around. The sweetest days I found, I found with you”. How beautiful is that? He says “We’ve been through everything there is…can’t imagine anything we’ve missed…can’t imagine anything the two of us can’t do”. And that is such a beautiful and comforting feeling. And I think it’s appropriate for the song of the day to be a love song on the episode where I get to interview the love of my life. That is why Through the Years is our song of the day.
2:21 soft transition music plays until 2:40
02:32 Host: Now let’s go ahead and get started with the interview. I am so delighted to bring to you my special guest today. This is a man who just had a presence that I was not accustomed to. When he first laid eyes on me...and yes, I’m saying that right. When he first laid eyes on me, I felt seen. I didn’t feel like he was just looking at me. I felt like he saw me. I felt like I had his undivided attention. And I don’t think I had ever experienced that feeling in my life. He’s had a lot of work cut out for him. He’s had quite a challenge with me since that day but most of the time, I can still manage to capture his undivided attention. And it is with great joy that I introduce to you the love of my life, my husband and my best friend, Mr. Robert Triggs. Welcome.
3:47 Guest: Thank you my dear. That was a tremendous introduction. I love it.
3:52 Host: Oh, and that voice. You know, I don’t get to hear your voice like this often. I get to hear you face to face but I forgot how great your voice is.
4:06 Guest: Thank you.
4:06 Well, I want to thank you for being here. You know this has been a labor of love for a couple of months now. And you are a large part of the reason why I wanted to do a podcast like this. The way you love me is a perfect expression of love me anyway. ‘Cuz I felt like so many times in my past, when I was involved with a man or considering getting involved with a man, like, there were limitations like there was a limit on what they would accept in order to accept me as their significant other.
4:44 So anyway, we’ll get into all that a little bit later, but I want to start off with some fun stuff so are you ready?
Guest: I’m ready
Host: Ok. If you had the option, would you prefer to be invisible or to fly?
Guest: Invisible. Hands down
Host: And why?
Guest: Because I’d like to be present without being present. And I’d like to just be able to witness things when nobody believes I’m around. I’d like to hear and learn, and I mean they say character and integrity is who you are when nobody’s looking. I’d like to be there when nobody feels like you’re looking in. That would be a cool gift for parenting, too. The opportunity to also give to people while I’m invisible, I think that would be cool. So, I just like the idea of being able to zip in and out without being seen. In fact, a good portion of me, at times, likes playing the background anyway, in certain roles so I like that gift.
5:56 Host: Ok. If you had any super-power, what would it be and why?
Guest: I would like the ability to foresee the future and, also, be able to change it. I think, so there’s a gift of being able to have foresight and to see things that are coming but if you’re unable to change them, that just brings frustration ‘cuz you can see it coming but you can’t change it so I think the greatest kind of gift or super-power would be being able to see it coming and alter it for good.
06:38 Host: Ok. Beautiful. Batman vs Superman: who wins?
Guest: Aww, hands down, Superman.
Host: Okay, why?
Guest: Because, even when Batman killed Superman, it just didn’t feel right. It didn’t seem right. Batman has no inherent supernatural ability. He’s just smart with gadgets.
Host: Ok.
Guest: [laughter] Superman can look through walls, he has super-natural strength, he can fly. And so, just his DNA, to me, is more compatible with a superhero. Batman just kinda reminds me of a hyped-up wrestler. [laughter]
Host: [laughing] Ok. How do you have fun? What’s your favorite fun thing to do?
Guest: My most favorite thing to do: I’m gonna be a little unorthodox in this one because if I were to answer it just authentically, man my favorite thing to do is read. And I know that sounds a bit boring. It could sound a bit, you know, ho-hum but that is what I enjoy. I just have an unquenchable thirst for knowledge, particularly knowledge around things that I’m facing at the time or things I that I wanna be educated on and so reading is my A-1, reading and movies and spending time with my honey bun.
8:17 Host: Um-hum. Beautiful. Ok. What was the last thing that made you literally belly laugh?
Guest: I think the hardest time I’ve laughed has been at a comedian named Tony Roberts. We went to see Tony Roberts at…it was MegaFest and he did just like a 5 minute episode of comedy and I tell you, I was throwing up laughing at this man. I didn’t expect him to be that funny and it was just rapid-fire jokes and all of ‘em were funny and I just...I think for the first time you heard me say “Baby, I can’t breathe, I need my asthma pump”. So, it was, it was, it was, um…yea, it was just hilarious.
Host: Ok. Beautiful. Now, that was years ago. [Are] you saying you haven’t belly laughed since then? You haven’t laughed that hard since then, I’ll give you that.
Guest: Not that hard, not that hard.
Host: Ok.
Guest: That was just….so between he and Zooman, I think we laughed pretty hard at Zooman Miller. I guess another one, going back to a question you said asked me about what I like to do: I like comedians. I like listening to comedy. That’s almost an art as well as a hobby.
9:32 Host: Ok. What one thing or place in your home most accurately sums up the essence of who you are?
Guest: I would say…that’s a tough question but I would say, (probably true to form) my spine bookcase and books would be the thing that kinda typifies me.
Host: How is your life different today than what you expected it to be?
Guest: I really thought I would be, probably at a different place in life. I thought I’d be probably a millionaire.
Host: Are you not a millionaire right now?
Guest: I’m rich but I’m not a millionaire [laughter]
Host: [laughing] Ok.
Guest: So, uh, I think I would have thought I would have been maybe a little further along in material possessions but along the way, I’ve made some tremendous sacrifices for my family and their well-being. I think I would have been further along. I guess that‘s the best way to say it.
10:35 Host: Ok. Has there ever been a time in your life when you felt unloved or unlovable?
Guest: [Are] You familiar with the Peanuts and Charlie Brown?
Host: uh-huh
Guest: Are you familiar with the character Pigpen?
Host: yea
Guest: Pigpen, he would walk around and he’d have the little cloud…there was a time period in life where I felt like Pigpen [laughter]
Host: Why?
11:00 Guest: Because I went through a very tough…a very challenging time. I went through a divorce and at the time, it was just a stigma with being divorced. And, particularly, I’m a Christian, and in that community, you just didn’t go through a divorce. And so, when I went through that time period, I felt like I had this cloud of smoke on me that said “you stink, stay away, I reject you”. And, it just stayed with me and, you know, if not careful, you will internalize that. And that’s not who you are. It may be a season of what you’re going through, but you really have to work hard to separate how people respond to you and know that the solution is to…to take a bath. It’s personal. [laughter]
11:52 – 12:01 Transition music plays
11:59 Guest: So, let me be…full disclosure: At the time, I was in leadership in the local church and there’s a very high-level profile that people see you and with that comes a very high standard. Sometimes, the standard being unfair, so with that high standard, there was just a premium in the 90s, late 90s, early 2000s that said “hey, if you go through a divorce, it’s the man’s fault. He’s a failure. He, you know, he’s no longer capable of serving in a certain capacity so a lot of value judgements were placed upon your ability to stay married and have the perception, at least, of having a healthy family. And so, I think I took on some of the cultural expectations and, uh, was very hard on myself about that time. So, with me kinda going through that internally and then some of the actual aspersions or the actual judgments made on me, it was quite an ordeal to go through.
Host: And in all of what you went through with that, was there anyone who dared to get close to love you through that time and dare to get dirty with all of that Pigpen stuff going around?
Guest: Yea, of course, probably first and foremost was my mother. I think by this time, I had gone through college and graduate school and I was relatively low maintenance for my mother….emotionally, low maintenance financially ‘cuz I was basically on my own and independent but during that time, I did run into some challenges financially and emotionally and she reached out to me and I felt close to her in a new way because at that time, it was..it was a lonely season. And so, in that, she fought and waded through all of the accusations being made and she just loved me in spite of what she heard because she believed the best in me. And, uh, you know, there’s a special bond…just a biological bond between a mother and a child and so I think we revisited that. Even though I was older, I just felt really close to her.
14:31 And so from a biological standpoint, my mother. But then, from a friend standpoint, there’s a brother named Ron, who is just like…who’s literally like my brother from another mother. And, he was very close to me during that time and just seeing his leadership abilities helped me to stay on track. And he would come over and keep me busy and do silly things with me just to, uh, to help me transition in a healthy way. And then, another friend of mine, named Jason Earls, who’s actually a comedian. And, uh, so he would, he would call and when things got too heavy, he’d just make jokes and have me laughing. And so, those, those individuals were priceless and are priceless to me.
15:19 Host: That’s awesome. And, of course, a mother’s love is absolutely unconditional. Did the fact that she had also gone through a divorce, do you think that helped her be able to more easily relate to what you were going through or whether she had been divorced or not, you think that her support would have been the same?
Guest: I think the support would have been the same because even though we both had gone through divorce, it was different. Times were different. And I think the idea of me being in Christian leadership at the time of that divorce added a space that she couldn’t necessarily understand. So, even though it was the same, it was...it was very different.
16:03 Host: Yea
Guest: Uh, I just think she loved me from a place of mother, son and the foundation of Christian principles.
Host: And having gone through a divorce, has that softened your heart at all to others who have experienced the same thing?
Guest: I would say, the event was hard but I think the outcome of it made me understand compassion a bit better, helped me to understand the frailty of man so in the end, yea, I think it made me a more compassionate person, for sure.
Host: That’s awesome. I think sometimes, the wisest people are the ones who understand that there’s no place for judgment and that we all make mistakes. And if you live a little longer, you’ll see that you, too, are not above making mistakes. Sometimes God will take us through something just ‘cuz He knows the path ahead will involve us running into someone who’s been through something similar and they’ll need us in…in a capacity that we wouldn’t have been able to serve in had we not been through something.
17:11 – 17:21 Soft transition music plays.
17:15 Voice of host says “You are listening to Love Me Anyway, with your host, Robyn Rose”
17: 20 Host: How do you earn your income?
Guest: I work for the Dallas Leadership Foundation and I lead a team of adults who go into schools and provide life skills training for students and support to families. Um, our ultimate goal is leadership development and we want to identify, affirm and develop leaders. You know, the classroom is very academic and often times, the teachers and schools need additional support with life skills: how to respond to authority, how to be disciplined, turning in assignments on time and responding with emotional intelligence. And so we help with, primarily, the soft skills that students need to be successful in society.
18:12 Host: Beautiful. And so you primarily deal with what age group?
Guest: Well, for the most of my career, it’s been 12 – 18 but here recently we’ve ventured into some elementary literacy programs.
Host: Ok. I want to touch on your experience with the youth for just a moment because I feel like that’s another segment of the population that is considered hard to deal with, you know, and some may even say hard to love. That’s an age where you feel like you know so much and yet you’re still so clueless and you’re really trying to understand who you are as a person. And this is the age where you hear so many parents struggle. I think the teenage years are some of the hardest to navigate for parents and yet this is a segment of the population that you have embraced for over 20 years. You have loved on this group of people when so many moved away from them…they didn’t even want to deal with them. So what brought you to working with this group of people?
19:23 Robert: Wow. That’s a great question. Looking back on my own life journey, most of the decisions, the poor decisions I made in adolescence, I made, I would say, without a lot of adults giving me guidance. So, um, when you just look at the ratio of adults in your life vs friends and peers, it’s a very small number of adults. And I…as I look back on my own life, I see where there were gaps where had I had adults that I engaged with more around life principles, I could have possibly made some better decisions. So, once I became 22, 23 and realized the significance of those choices between, you know, 12 and 20, I said hey I want to help that crowd. When most people give up on individuals, I want to love them during that tough time and it’s just because you look back and you say “I wish somebody would have..” then you want to become that person you wish you had. If they accept you. Because now you’re doing it because you know they need it, not because you need acceptance. If that makes sense…
Host: Oh my gosh. Absolutely. And that makes…that makes perfect sense. I am so glad you said that ‘cuz that is literally the reason why I wanted to create this platform. Because, I wanted to create something that would speak into the lives of young ladies that I wish I had. I am creating the podcast that I wish was around 10 or 15 years ago. Actually, probably 15 or 20 years ago. You know, your parents can tell you things, but if you don’t have certain people around you to expose you to things, to talk to you, to…to be that sounding board for what you’re going through. And at an age when you don’t really understand how to process what you’re thinking, what you’re feeling, what you’re hearing. I wanted to create that so I’m so glad you said that. Yea, so I’m sorry. Carry on, please.
21:33 Robert: Man…you…that…this question kinda takes me deeper because I hadn’t thought about my profession being centered around loving people anyway.
Host: Absolutely
Robert: But I used to talk about it all the time as we did orientations with newcomers. Um, I would tell them “please don’t get offended if you pour your heart out and they next time a kid sees you, they don’t even remember your name” and “that the way young people show affection is very different than adults or little children” and so it is, as many know, it’s a thankless service at times because, uh, students may not be, uh, mature enough to understand being invested in in that way so I guess, in some ways, it is a love me anyway type position.
Host: Yea, so I think you’ve had it in you all this time and just didn’t recognize it…this capacity to love when others run. You know. That just came to me right then. I hadn’t even though about that. You love when others run. Oh my gosh. [laughter]. Wow, that’s good. That’s good.
Robert: Absolutely
Host: Ugh, I love that. So, I guess that’s my next question: what is it about you that allows you to love when others run?
Robert: I would say a good deal of it is centered around my Christian faith. And, the heart of Christianity is unconditional love and relationship and so with that as a basis, you want to pay that forward to, uh, individuals you work with. So, um, I would say that the foundation is my Christian faith and then secondly, uh, the cord of personal experience tied to that Christian faith. And that…when I say personal experience, I mean my experience as a young person and wanting to have influence on other young people’s experience. Those two, I think help me to stay centered in this field of work.
23:42 – 23:52 Soft transition music plays
23:48 Host: So, now I want to get into us. When I just mentioned that you…you love when others run, it takes me back. It takes me way back. The way I experienced love me anyway the first time, in my mind, it was coming from God towards me, saying “I love you anyway. I love you anyway. I love you anyway”. For those who haven’t heard the first episode of this podcast, I talked about some of this where I felt like I had such low self esteem as a child, because I had done some things that I wasn’t proud of and I kinda looked at myself negatively. I had a very low self-image…very low self-esteem. And when you meet a person…let me just say, a few of the men that I dated had this thing, like, “I want to get to know you. Tell me everything. Tell me everything right now” as if “don’t waste my time. I want to know everything right now because if I need to dismiss you, I want to go ahead and do so”.
24:56 And this would be real early on, very early on in the dating process. And they wanted, seemingly, to be an artist, sitting in front of a blank canvas and they wanted to paint a picture of me based on the words that I gave them. But the words I gave them were usually dark because I was looking at myself through dark lenses…through a cloud of guilt and shame and insecurity. And so, basically, every color that I told them to put on that paintbrush was dark…everything. And if a man is trying to, basically, interview you for a position and the picture that’s in front of him is nothing but darkness and they want sunshine and brightness and flowers and all this beautiful stuff, of course, the image that I’m helping them paint of me is not positive.
25:58 But the problem I had with that is that this was because they weren’t willing to take the time to get to know me so that their own experiences with me would paint the picture. And, what you did differently is that you took the time to get to know me. You wanted the paintbrush in your hand so that you could paint the picture based on our interactions, our conversations, the time we spent together, the vulnerability that we shared with each other and a lot of men are not willing to do that. And you also happened to come in at a time when I just wanted to be me. I wanted to be free of secrets. I wanted to be who I was and you came through a person who I love and respect and so I just felt like I’m going to be who I am…1,000 percent authentic and if it doesn’t work, then I’ve just met an incredible man and so be it. But I didn’t want to lie to you about anything. I didn’t want to hide anything. And that turned out to be one of the best decisions of my life and I think that it became one of the best decisions of my life because of the person that you are. Like, you learned everything about me and you said “I love you anyway”.
27:13 But by the time you came along, I had stopped seeing myself through such negativity. The lenses I had on when I look back through my life, in 20/20 hindsight, were no longer tainted and they weren’t filthy anymore. I had started to love myself. And so, I had gotten to the point where, even if you don’t love me, I love me anyway and that’s what I needed. That’s what I didn’t have. And I would love to think that you and I could have been what we are today even if that wasn’t the case but I don’t know if that would have been the case. When we...when we became exclusive…so let me back up…most people don’t know our story.
27:57 You and I dated for roughly 6 weeks. And when I say dated, I mean just dated. No kissing. One hug probably 3 days before we became exclusive. 2 handshakes…3 handshakes. The handshake the day we met. The handshake of our first date and then you wanted to hold my hand while we blessed the food after I returned from Israel ‘cuz you wanted to touch the hand that had touched the birthplace of Jesus. And those were the only 3 points of contact you and I had while we were dating for 6 weeks.
28:42 And I felt like it was so odd because you didn’t try to kiss me. You didn’t try to sleep with me. You didn’t try to be alone with me. We were only in public places. You would not allow us to be alone behind closed doors, period so we shut down a lot of restaurants and I just thought you were the weirdest thing ever. Like, you were weird but we spent so much time talking and eating and talking and then even when we left each other’s presence, we talked on the phone some more and just really got to know each other. And that was something I hadn’t had with anybody else. You had a very different approach to dating. Could you tell me how that came to be, please?
29:30 Robert: Man, you said so much in there.
Host: I’m sorry [laughter]
Robert: I think I had just a…just a bit of…just insight that came while you were speaking about…you said when you saw yourself through the proper lens, it made it possible for me to see you through...or to start loving you with that lens. And so maybe the key to this, one of the keys is loving yourself anyway, which opens the door for others love you anyway. And, I mean, I just think all of that is tied to understanding who you are, your identity…having a healthy self-identity and self-love.
Host: Absolutely
Robert: Not a narcissistic kind of love but a…a love that just says I love me. So, I think when it comes to us, all of that was working in the…as the backstory and it set the stage for the timing of our meeting. So, when you think about how crucial the timing was, it just was like the line…the stars and the moon all aligned in both of our lives such that we wanted…I was in a place of “hey, slow down, take your time, get to know” and you were in a place of “hey, I know who I am. I do want to be in a relationship but I want them to know me…know me in a healthy way”. And so…so I think all of that played into it.
31:12 When men are young, they most likely buy a car based on how it looks. As they get older, they buy a car based on what’s under the hood. And I think the same is true in dating. As men get older, they become, I don’t want to say less concerned with…with what the car looks like, but they prioritize getting to know what’s under the hood because a good-looking car with a bad motor is no good. So, I think when we met, I was really in the place of getting to know…wanting to know you, um, because I wasn’t, uh, in a hurry to get married, um, or to move quickly in a relationship. I wanted to take my time and get to know you. And so, that was the foundation…uh, was I’m not in a hurry. I really want to know you and…I don’t know…when you shop for a car and you go and look on the window, it has this like information tag. It’ll have the price of the car and it’ll have all of the features and it’ll tell you if it’s as-is or not and at Carmax, it’s no haggling. But there’s a certain amount of information that you need to know…do I want to start paying a car note on this car. And, so I think when we’re young, we’re not as polished and relational in getting that information so it feels more transactional, um, but as we get older, we learn how to do that in more of a relational context and that’s probably what you felt…I hope that’s what you felt with me, uh, which allowed me to ride in this relationship, so um….[laughter]
33:07 Host: Well, I didn’t understand the science or even…I didn’t understand the layers behind it, I just knew what we had was so yummy and I was just like “I’m in. I’m in”. And we talk about self-image and it helped me to realize…like what you just said…when I started to love myself anyway, that’s when I was in a healthy place to be loved by someone else. In my mind, women struggle with this more than men. What factors do you think played a role in your positive self-image?
Robert: I would say, first, just being formed by my Christian faith, um, which roots all of our image back to the creator…and how we were created. Um, but I think, too, um, I had an appreciation for my culture, uh, just my family culture and racial identity. And, um, I think…you know, I’ve been a part of like different assessments, like work assessments and some assessments that kinda help you with your identity. And in putting all of those things together…and I guess I always had a healthy identity. Um, I’ll say I had…um, my identity had to grow or my maturity to understand my identity had to grow. So, I think, you know, faith would be the priority of things that informed me because just understanding the dynamics of being unconditionally love by God, um, being created in His image, um, the length and depth of His love for me, regardless of my performance and when He says all these wonderful things about who I am because of what He did for me, it then begins to show me, man I’m just amazing, not because of my performance, but because I’m His creation.
35:15 I guess the other thing was, I was in college and, um, I had gone…my high school was a predominantly white school and I was at a predominantly white university, um, but I started taking this class called African American studies and in it, I had, like, my first real Black professor. And he was phenomenal and he introduced me to this guy named Dr. Ivan Van Sertima, who was a…he was a scholar from back in the day that introduced the integrity of black civilization. And I started reading the things that, you know, culturally speaking, we were a part of and so I began to kinda develop my sense of identity as an African American man and go on my own journey. And when you couple that with, you know, your faith, it’s a mighty discovery.
36:21 Host: There may be some people in the audience who don’t practice religion…who don’t observe a particular religion. So, aside from your Christian faith, what factors do you think could promote a healthy self-image in someone else?
Robert: I would say history…so, first understanding where you come from in your family lineage. And, the timeline and development of your race and culture. That helps to understand, kinda, your backstory. Once you kinda understand who the generations were before you, then you kinda, uh, look into your immediate family and what your parents have told you. There’s a lot of popular tests now. So, I think sitting with the elders in your family and understanding your family history as well as tapping into some of those resources to understand your lineage and background, I think it’s a launching pad. And, uh...go ahead.
37:25 Host: Well, and I’m not trying to be difficult but I’m going to make this a little bit harder for you and I’ll ask this to a counselor as well. And I know you’re not a licensed counselor, but if that is not an option. If going back to my lineage is not a launch pad that I can go to, anything else you could suggest?
Robert: Well, I think the premise of your question could be altered a little bit. Sometimes we go back in our history to learn where things went wrong in order to change them. So, I think, once…let’s say, you go back in your history and you see two, three generations of racists/racism. I think then, you, if you can get, okay this is how we came to be racists during the time where the times shaped a lot of our beliefs and then can stand up against that and say, you know what…that’s what it was but here is what it can be. So understanding why your parents shaped the home the way they did but you’re not necessarily….you don’t have to be a product of your environment. And then, begin to push for…push for equality. So, the history is just like…I’m a why person. I just want to know why. I want to know why and how things happen. And there may be some people who are not as inquisitive and who want to know why. They just want to deal with the reality. I’m just one of those why people and understanding the why frees me up to really accept, embrace and even change, if necessary.
39:05 – 39:16 Soft transition music plays
39:12 Host: You talked about loving books and loving to learn. If you were to teach a class or give a lecture on any topic, what would it be?
Robert: Right now, it would be a young adult class on how to successfully transition into the real world after high school or college. That’s kinda where my…my kids are. It’s kinda a lot of what I’m doing on my job now. And I just think we have quite a bit of ground to cover to help young adults successfully transition from the halls of academia into responsible, working adults.
Host: Is that where you had a lot of challenge in that transition in your own life or just that you see a need for it in this generation? Or both?
Robert: Of course, there would be some things I’d do differently if I knew, uh, then what I know now, but I think because of the support that I had, I didn’t relatively well. I’d like to lend that support to single parents, specifically, and students who, uh, just may have gotten off to a bad start. ‘Cuz how you start, man, it really matters. Man, if you can start life, on your own, free of debt, very few heartbreaks, with, you know, understanding how relationships work and with a good work ethic and an understanding character, man, you can really go a long way.
40:43 Host: I agree. That’s awesome. I just have a few more questions and then we’ll wrap this up. But, I want to…
Robert: Has anybody ever told you you’re really cute?
Host: [laughter] My husband tells me that on occasion. My husband and my boyfriend.
Robert: That is good. Well, I ditto. I ditto what they say.
Host: Thank you. Even with my hair like this?
Robert: Even with your hair…loving you anyway.
Host: [laughter] Good job baby. If your life had a theme song, what would it be? Or if your life had a soundtrack, could you give us a couple of the songs that might be on it? ‘Cuz sometimes it’s hard to narrow it down to just one song.
Robert: Uh, I would say, probably, at least a portion of my life, the Rocky theme song. [sound effects mimicking the theme song]
Host: Okay. [laughter] Is that because you’ve overcome obstacles?
Robert: Absolutely.
Host: Okay
Robert: Absolutely. That’s a song that gets you pumped up to fight the good fight. Another song would be Dear Mama by Tupac.
Host: WOW
Robert: Um, because of, just the encouragement that he gives to single mothers. Another song would just be Giving You the Best that I Got [Anita Baker], because that’s my wife’s favorite song.
42:16 Host: Hey, hey
Robert: And, I’d probably have a Christian theme in there. I like the song It Ain’t Over Until It’s Over and then there’s another…More Than Anything. I Love You More Than Anything. That’s, you know that, “I love you, Jesus….”
Host: Yea, that played at our wedding, as the wedding party was walking down the aisle.
Robert: That’s one of my favorites.
Host: Okay. Lord forbid, but if you were to die, what would you regret not having done?
Robert: My will [laughter]
Host: [Laughter] That’s a great answer. Okay. So then, the follow up question to that is why haven’t you done it?
Robert: Because my wife hasn’t sat down with me and done it with me because we’re supposed to be doing it together.
Host: Okay, that’s fair. So, besides your will, what would you regret not having done?
Robert: That’s a tough question for me because there’s something I’m supposed to do between 50 and 70 but I don’t clearly know what it is. That’s a new season for me. A new season and so I think it’s in formulation but I don’t quite know what it is. I haven’t quite put my finger on it. It could be a book. It could be a podcast. It could be something I’m supposed to do with you. It could be, uh, something I’m supposed to do with my mother or the children or a number of different things so I…I don’t know.
44:01 Host: Okay. That’s fair. How would you like to be remembered?
Robert: I would like to be remembered as a solid Christian, a loving husband, a faithful dad, a committed son and an impactful employee.
Host: WOW. I think that’s a great way to end it. That was beautiful. This has been quite a pleasure. I learned a few things about you that I didn’t know before. I thank you from the bottom of my heart, for taking the time to do this for me. Thank you for your love. Thank you for your support with this podcasting journey. I love you and I will talk to you in just a moment.
Robert: Love you too, baby.
44:43 – 45:14 soft music plays until the end
44:50 I’d like to leave you with a quote that has been credited to Rupi Kaur: “How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you”.
Thank you for sharing your time with me. I’m so glad you’re here and I look forward to our next time together.